How to make friends
wine tastes so bad. I’m convinced the whole world is in on an inside joke together trying to persuade me that wine tastes good to them. there’s no way any one can like the taste of it. it’s like bug spray. the whole frickin world pretends to like bug spray. I don’t understand why. stop the madness
girl: i’m not a feminist
nah actually i love myself too much to allow myself to be victimized and associated with a hate movement but thanks
hey yall! (if youre not southern you probably cant read this)
Never forget 3 types of people in your life:
- Who helped you in your difficult times.
- Who left you in your difficult times.
- Who put you in difficult times.
can you believe that there are people on this earth who have never seen this video before
I didn’t wanna do my geo hw so I stitched this cracker to the arm of the couch
*identifies the cutest boy in the room .5 seconds after entering*
do ya ever bring your pet up to a mirror and ur like “that you”
Just in case you weren’t on the moon last night. This is what earth looked like from the moon’s perspective
nothing is more satisfying than someone walking right past ur hiding spot in hide and seek
how old are you
"thatkilljoy" living up to the url i see
how much do islands cost i want one
Less than a college education
what the fuck
I took my girlfriend to an improv show the other night and during intermission we were passionately arguing over whether half a 5 Hour Energy shot would give you 2.5 hours of energy or 5 hours of half-assed energy so we turned around to ask the opinions of the three people behind us and one of them said “Are all your arguments like this because we heard you in the lobby earlier fighting over the right way to pronounce ‘egg’?”